


Naughty And Nice

by Hekate1308



Series: The Home We've Made [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas Party, Inspired by Addams Family, M/M, Magical Realism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 02:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17133392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: With magic seeping back into the world, Dean has gotten used to people frantically calling him, even some he’s never heard from before. Seems like his and Cas’ numbers have become the go-to hotline for anyone whose problem can be summed up with Help, a weird thing is happening and could you fix it, please.Still, Christmas should be safe, right?





	Naughty And Nice

**Author's Note:**

> Did someone say Christmas special? Enjoy!

With magic seeping back into the world, Dean has gotten used to people frantically calling him, even some he’s never heard from before. Seems like his and Cas’ numbers have become the go-to hotline for anyone whose problem can be summed up with _Help, a weird thing is happening and could you fix it, please_.

At least it’s better than what Crowley has had to deal with – prank calls from teenagers who dare each other to reach out to a super scary demon (as if he’s that scary to begin with).

Still, Dean somehow expected that Christmas would be a freaking exception.

It’s Christmas, for Christ’s sake. Even monsters celebrate Christmas. _Crowley_ celebrates Christmas.

Alright, so his ideas for decorating include a bit more blood than most humans would associate with the holidays, but it’s the thought that counts.

So really, Christmas should be safe, Dean thinks rather annoyed when his phone rings on Christmas Eve and he doesn’t recognize the number. These days, this only means one thing.

After he’s talked to the frantic woman, he hangs up and announces, “Guys”.

Every head in the room turns to look at him, and seeing as they are in the midst of throwing their annual party, that’s quite a bit of heads. “Show of hands, we’ve got a bit of a problem –“

Crowley materializes in front of him and Cas before he even finishes speaking, a drink with a small pitchfork in his hands, his cheeks –

Dear God, are his cheeks rosy?

Gilda’s fairy drinks have a lot to answer for.

If Dean’s keeping up count, at least two marriages, one divorce and about three people relocating to their portion of the suburbs.

“What is it, boys?”

“Crowley, a little quieter, please. There are guests –“ Rowena, magnificently dressed for the occasion as she usually is, still tends to think of herself as the queen of the evening, but they hardly mind.

“What is it?” Sam, ever the pragmatic, asks.

“That’s the question. So, hear me out. Big thing with horns, mostly red, breathes fire and chases the children around –“

“Oh my Gosh!” Crowley, who only ever minds that he’s swearing when he’s had too much to drink, other than – well, everyone else Dean has ever met, exclaims. “Do you think whoever called you is of German heritage?”

“She said her name was Bauer” Dean recalls.

“Oh dear. We have a Krampus on our hands!”

“A Krampus” Dean deadpans as Gilda sweeps the drink out of the demon’s hands despite his protests to replace it with one that’ll make him sober.

“Yes. Ah, it’s like the old times. I didn’t think there was enough magic around for them to reappear yet.”

“So” Dean says, only temporarily distracted by Crowley almost coughing up a long as Gilda’s drink takes effect, “What are we going to do about it?”

“Well, what’s it doing?” Eileen asks.

“Like I said, scaring the children, pretty sure there was a sack of coal and a couple of rods involved as well –“

“Mother is right, it is just like the good old times” Crowley says, remarkably sober again. “I do hope you have all been nice rather than naughty.”

“Because it won’t come after us, then?”

“Because it will come after me!” Crowley grins. “I haven’t had an opportunity to flex my muscles, so to speak, in a while now.”

It probably shouldn’t sound as reassuring as it does, but this is Dean’s life. Any semblance of normalcy left the building a long time ago. “Okay then. Let’s go.”

When they arrive at the neighbourhood where apparently Krampuses can run around freely, they find Jody. She offered to take the holiday shift, as she’s wont to do – they invited her for dinner on the twenty-sixth, however. “Hello, boys.”

“That’s my line” Crowley says, then proceeds to kiss her hand. “And a wonderful evening to you, sheriff.”

If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d swear Jody blushes. “We have to deal with this quickly. People are growing rather nervous…”

“There are a reason for it?”

“Yes” Cas says, “I thought they were just supposed to go after naughty children.”

A scream erupts from nearby and Jody winces. “About that. Apparently for something that is as old as the belief in something like a Krampus, everybody is a child. And well – let’s just say their criteria for who is naughty and who is nice are a bit…”

“Old-fashioned?” Cas suggests.

“That’s a polite way of putting it.”

* * *

 

“And the other day, you didn’t say thank you when a man held open the door for you at Arby’s!”

Dean ducks away from the sack the Krampus wants to put him in. He doesn’t think that the holiday rush and the man accepting a quick nod in thanks instead of words is going to cut it as an excuse, not when it comes to overenthusiastic Krampus-ses? Krampussi? Whatever.

“Oh no” he says, “You know what, I think you are eight. Let me just jump right into that, will you?”

As it turns out, Krampus-sas (Dean is going to look it up later) are very literally minded. This one stops and blinks. “Would you? It would save me so much time – there are so many naughty people around!”

“Well” Dean drawls, tilting his head in an imitation of Cas’ signature move while he watches the others sneak up on them, “It is worth considering. First I’d have to know where I’m going, of course.”

“In the sack! Where else?”

“I can’t stay in there forever – there would have to be somewhere else for me to go after” he points out.

That seems to genuinely confuse the Krampus, who ponders the thought for a while. “The naughty ones – go in the sack” he finally says.

“But” Sam announces, stepping up to Dean, “for how long? And have you read him his rights?”

“What?”

“I’m his lawyer. Have you read him his rights?”

“His rights?” Now it genuinely looks like it might start crying. “But the naughty ones aren’t supposed to have any rights!”

“That’s the problem, mate. Things have changed a bit from your time” Crowley announces from behind it.

It turns around, grinning. “A demon! Finally someone who –“ It stops talking and pouts. Even for Dean, who’s sued to this kind of crazy, it looked bizarre. “But – but you’re a nice one! What are the chances of me running into a nice demon in my first outing in centuries –“

He’ll be sorry he doesn’t have a camera with him because Crowley is doing a rather good impression of a goldfish at being called nice.

And that’s when Rowena strikes.

Seconds later, the Krampus is back wherever it came from.

Their triumph is rather undercut in Crowley announcing “I am _not_ nice” – in a voice that would sound grumpy if a five-year-old used it.

* * *

 

“Alright, so when do we cut him off?” Dean asks as he watches Crowley down another drink.

“Oh, I haven’t given him anything that could get him drunk since you returned” Gilda cheerfully supplies.

“What would we do without you.”

“Hey, that’s my line” Charlie complains.

“Yes” Cas says, slipping his arms around Dean’s waist. “I am rather sure I am the only one you are supposed to be flirting with.”

“Ah, poor me. Don’t make my mistakes, Charlie. All it gets you is having to stand aside and watch the young people have fun.”

She sticks out her tongue at him. “As if you don’t have enough fun for all of us.”

He blushed. “Charlie!”

“Nice!” Crowley wails from a few feet away. “Nice! All my rituals, and I – I – “ he blinks. “Squirrel?”

“Yeah?”

“When did I make the last bloody sacrifice?”

It actually has been a while. “You did one to bless our marriage” he supplies.

Crowley narrows his eyes. “But wouldn’t that count as being nice?”

“Oh no” Charlie is quick to say, “You are totally the worst.”

It seems to placate him somewhat.

Some days Dean could swear he didn’t move into a neighbourhood full of monsters but a giant kindergarten.

Speaking of…

Not that he doesn’t trust her, but he has no idea what Rowena is doing at the window. He walks up to her. “Hey, I was just wondering –“ His mouth falls open.

Their front lawn, in fact the whole street, has been covered in the whitest, most glistening snow he has ever seen.

“Reminds me of the old days in Scotland” she informs him.

“It looks wonderful” Cas says, stepping up to Dean and taking his hand.

He can only agree.

Later, they are all busy building snowman. Crowley seems to turn his into a decidedly anti Krampus just to prove a point.

“Another story to tell our children one day” Dean says casually and is rewarded by Cas pilling him into a kiss, his eyes glowing with his snare.

They are rudely interrupted by Charlie flinging a snowball at them.

Oh man, the game is on.

He grins at hi husband and grabs a handful of snow.

Who cares about naughty or nice when you can have fun.


End file.
